Remember to Live and Never Stop Dreaming !
10 Things I had to learn by myself (my mother never taught me):
i. Blame the person who hurts you, not yourself. Never blame yourself for not being what they wanted or not being “good enough.” You are made with perfectly flawed traits, stitched together to be loved unconditionally.
ii. Not everyone you love will love you back and the people who do love you, you won’t always reciprocate the feelings. But that doesn’t make them or you a bad person. You can’t love everyone and not everyone will love you. I refuse to blame the people that can’t find it in their soul to give me what I give them. I don’t give to get back. I give because I want to and because I can.
iii. Don’t let one person tell you negative things about yourself. One opinion out of a million does not make you who you are. No one paints a masterpiece for you, you are the art piece. You make who you are. You are the artist.
iv. Don’t ever settle. People always feel safer with things that they are used to and comfortable with instead of seeking for the heart pounding feelings and moments that take their breaths away. I never want it to be easy; I want it to be hard to breathe and suffocating when I give something my all. I want to learn how to survive through that.
v. Learn how to say no. No, I do not want to dance with you. No, I do not want to kiss you. No, I do not want to date you. No, I do not want to do this. No, I do not want to do that. Because that does not make me happy and that does not make me feel comfortable, so no. And I don’t need to give you a reason nor do I need to make up an excuse to say “no.”
vi. There are different kinds of people. Don’t always catergorize people in groups because people are not meant to be labelled. Just because one person hurts you, does not mean the ones in the future will. Just because one person holds a knife doesn’t mean the next one will use it. There is good out there; there is good in the world and there is good in people. Not everyone is a monster. I strongly believe that majority of the population is good.
vii. Do not let the past prevent you from living in the future. Do not let the pain and hurt take over. Don’t close yourself up to others just because you have been broken before. Never allow the demons of yesterday to control the beauty that is to come in the future. Vow to never allow it to always be stormy for the sun does eventually shine down on all things beautiful. I am beautiful, and so are you.
viii. You can swim across the world for someone but they might not even step outside in the drizzle for you. Even if you hold the umbrella for them.
ix. Never give someone the power to rid you of yourself. Don’t ever fall out of your routine or lose who you are permanently. That is so important.
x. Love yourself. Learn to love the birthmark on your face, the chipmunk cheeks, the thighs that jiggle when you walk, the nose you think is too flat, and your fingers that are too short. Learn to appreciate your almond shaped eyes, your skin color, the thin hair that doesn’t grow fast, the beauty mark above your lips, and the small gap between your teeth. Learn to love your sense of humor, your laughter, your emotions, your tendency to trust easily, and how happy you always are. Learn to love the way you love others deeply, how you sometimes fear being lonely, the way you enjoy walks alone, and the radiance in your soul. Learn to love yourself at 3AM when you cannot sleep and can only think of the skeletons hiding in your own closets and learn to love yourself at 3PM when you are cranky and unable to get out of bed. Learn to love yourself and come to terms with the fact that you are you, and that will never change.
We’re all trying to forget someone.
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect—you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.
I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don’t feel like it, pay compliments, chase the kid’s runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are— particularly when it’s difficult. People do notice, people appreciate. I appreciate it when it’s done to (for) me. Small gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain (“I’m not a big one for paying compliments…”), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself. For a moment life suddenly feels lighter, a bit more Gene Kelly dancing in the rain.
Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, Stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them.